Hope floats (cont.?)

I think one of the things I've been really hating besides the abuse of trying to live normally is the waiting game. I'm simply a player in my own demise. I piece of a puzzle that simply has no other result but a horrid depiction of gore. I feel like at this point, I have no control and it really sucks.

So after a long "break" of writing I've decided to finally take time and spill my thoughts and complaints. I honestly feel like I have no more options. The game is set: I have applied, I have tried, and the final action left is to wait. But it honestly feels like many steps were skipped. Since I'm a "little slower" than some of my other peers when it comes to certain scholastic subjects, I defintely feel disadvantaged. I wanna cry scores less than 600. (Catch my hint?)

Naval Academy is definitely my dream. It's been "the goal" for the longest time. I've busted my ass trying so hard to impress those aquatic big-shots and I'm losing my hair due to stress. I'm a balding panicking fool.

It's not a lot to ask for: a future. I've done my best, my absolute and over-th-top best..what more can be done.

It's really quite terrible since I've only applied to three military academies (which reminds me I need to send a resume today..) and have not yet applied to any of my state schools. Shame on me.

I honestly feel a little lost. Of hope and whatnot.